女儿闹脾气趴在超市地上 型男爸不怕丢脸只是「静静看着她」!

每次在外面看到家長帶小朋友時,都對那些家長感到萬分佩服,萬一孩子突然情緒失控大哭大鬧,得想辦法安撫孩子的情緒、要他安靜,一方面可能還要面對其他人的眼光,如果是在電影院或捷運上之類的場合,想必有不少民眾都會對孩子們的哭鬧聲反感吧?

July 4, 2021
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每次在外面看到家长带小朋友时,都对那些家长感到万分佩服,万一孩子突然情绪失控大哭大闹,得想办法安抚孩子的情绪、要他安静,一方面可能还要面对其他人的眼光,如果是在电影院或捷运上之类的场合,想必有不少民众都会对孩子们的哭闹声反感吧?

Facebook│Justin Baldoni
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遇到这种情况,相信有不少父母都会跟着情绪激动起来,喝斥孩子别再哭闹,「不然回家就完蛋了喔!」或是当众对孩子拳脚相向,因为觉得孩子在众人面前闹脾气让自己非常尴尬。如果你是家长会怎么做呢?

Facebook│Justin Baldoni

 

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美国男星贾斯汀巴尔多尼 (Justin Baldoni) 过去就遇到了这么一个难题,他与父亲一同带女儿麦雅 (Maiya) 去超市购物时,女儿不只大闹脾气,还趴在地上赖著不走,引来不少人侧目。不过贾斯汀在脸书分享他的处理方式后,引来了10万名网友按赞叫好!

 

I tried to stay off social media yesterday to connect with my family without distraction so I’m posting this today. Emily took this in Whole Foods. It’s now one of my favorite photos ever of me and my dad. Two men, standing together in silence, forever bonded by an unconditional love for both each other and this brand new, raw and pure soul who we would both go to the ends of the earth for. I can only imagine how many times I did this when I was her age. My dad taught me so much about what it means to be a man, but this post is about one thing and one thing only. Being comfortable in the uncomfortable. Something I grew up watching him do with me over and over again. There are no perfect parents, but one thing my dad taught me is to not parent based on what anyone else thinks. My dad always let me feel what I needed to feel, even if it was in public and embarrassing. I don’t remember him ever saying “You’re embarrassing me!” or “Dont cry!” It wasn’t until recently that I realized how paramount that was for my own emotional development. Our children are learning and processing so much information and they don’t know what to do with all of these new feelings that come up. I try to remember to make sure my daughter knows it’s OK that she feels deeply. It’s not embarrassing to me when she throw tantrums in the grocery store, or screams on a plane. I’m her dad…not yours. Let’s not be embarrassed for our children. It doesn’t reflect on you. In fact.. we should probably be a little more kind and patient with ourselves too. If we got out everything we were feeling and allowed ourselves to throw tantrums and cry when we felt the need to then maybe we’d could also let ourselves feel more joy and happiness. And that is something this world could definitely use a little more of. #fathersday #redifinemasculinity #daddy #dearmaiya

Justin Baldoni(@justinbaldoni)分享的贴文 于 张贴

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贾斯汀的处理方式,就是和马雅的阿公一起站在一旁,一句话也不说笑看这一切。等女儿赖够了,情绪自然会平复,乖乖地拍拍屁股站起身来。贾斯汀表示,「没有所谓的完美家长,但我从我爸身上学到的一点,就是别被别人的眼光影响你教育孩子的方式。我爸总是让我感受我需要感受的,即便我在公共场合胡闹,把场面弄得尴尬。他从来就不会说『你让我很丢脸!』或是『不准哭!』直到最近我才发现那段成长经验对我情绪成长有多么重要的影响。」

Facebook│Justin Baldoni

 

「孩子们正处于学习阶段,面对如此庞大的外来资讯,他们一时不知该如何应付这些全新的感受和情绪,所以我会试着让孩子知道,她有自己的感觉是OK的。不要为自己的孩子感到尴尬丢脸,他们的行为不会反映你这个人。事实上,我们也应该要对自己好一点,对自己有耐心一点。如果我们把感受释放出来,给自己闹脾气和大哭的权利,也许我们也会变得更快乐。」

Facebook│Justin Baldoni

 

贾斯汀的分享引起不少正面回响,有网友留言:「这张照片让我喜欢的一点,就是旁人还是一如往常在做自己的事。身为父母,我们太常预设别人会怎么看我们、怎么评断我们,那些想法影响了我们对待孩子的方式。但事实是,人们通常都专注在自己的琐事上,不太会留意我们。」、「这张照片让我感动,两代男人守护着她,让她认识并面对自己的情绪。有这样的好爸爸她真幸运。」

带小孩真的不容易啊~

 

小孩有多难带?参考一日保母挑战:

參考資料:Facebook│Justin Baldoni
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