小賈斯汀 (Justin Bieber) 在年幼時便嚐到了走紅的滋味,從12歲起至今都一直是人氣很高的國際巨星,然而也因為一直以來的脫序行為,讓世界上也累積了廣大討厭小賈斯汀的人們,甚至已經將”小賈斯汀”當作一個嘲笑他人的形容詞。
而最近他似乎打算挽回自己的形象和聲譽,對於過去種種荒唐的事情想要懺悔。
最近他上了美國電視頻道”喜劇中心 (Comedy Central) “的節目,並且在節目上接受各方的藝人輪番批評,而這些喜劇演員們當然也不會錯過這個好機會、各個言詞都相當尖銳,讓小賈斯汀只能尷尬地坐在旁邊傻笑…
![Comedy Central taped its roast of Justin Bieber on Saturday night, with a parade of comedians lining up to take shots at the singer.](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-32350-1426439077-2.jpg)
來吧!
![The actual show won't air until March 30, but, needless to say, there was plenty of material for the comedians to work with.](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-19075-1426439015-1.jpg)
1. 喜劇演員凱文哈特 (Kevin Hart):「今晚我們要給小賈斯汀一個他的父母和法治社會早該給他的一樣東西,我們要給這個小男孩打屁股。」
!["Tonight we're going to give what his parents and the legal system should have done years ago," host Kevin Hart said. "We're going to give this boy an ass-whoopin'."](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-21097-1426439348-1.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
「如果是伊波拉病毒的病患聽到小賈狂熱 (Bieber Fever) 這個詞時,也會慶幸自己染上的只是伊波拉。」
!["Ebola patients hear about 'Bieber fever' and say, 'I'm gonna go ahead and ride this one out.'"](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-32013-1426439436-10.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
2. 喜劇演員傑夫羅斯 (Jeff Ross):「席琳娜 (Selena Gomez, 小賈斯汀前女友) 本來也要來參加這個節目,但是她最近開始跟男人約會了。」(是取笑小賈斯丁是女生)
!["Selena Gomez wanted to be here, but she’s dating men now," comedian Jeff Ross joked.](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-31994-1426439579-2.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
「聽說你是因為她比你先長鬍子所以才甩掉她的,是真的嗎? (意指前女友比他還要像個男人)」
!["Is it true you dumped her because she grew a mustache before you?"](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-32660-1426439679-4.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
3. 演員路達克里斯 (Ludacris):「小賈斯汀一直渴望自己是一個黑人,他還在電影院裡看過凱文哈特的電影。」(其實同時取笑到小賈斯丁和凱文哈特 – 意指凱文哈特的電影很爛…)
!["Justin Bieber wants to be black so bad, he's actually seen Kevin Hart's movies in theaters," Ludacris quipped.](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-19075-1426439809-9.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
4. 喜劇演員Chris D’Elia:「你擁有一切,除了愛、朋友、好的父母親、和葛萊美獎。」
!["You have it all," comedian Chris D'Elia said. "Except love, friends, good parents, and a Grammy."](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-7094-1426439892-2.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
5. 喜劇演員Hannibal Buress:「大家都說人們只會對所愛的人嚴辭嘲諷,但老兄我完全不喜歡你,我會站在這只是因為這是個增加知名度的大好機會罷了。」
!["They say that you roast the ones you love," Broad City's Hannibal Buress said, "but I don't like you at all, man. I'm just here because it's a real good opportunity for me."](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-31197-1426443201-19.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
「事實上你應該感謝我、願意撥冗前來參加這個試圖讓你變得更討喜的盛會,雖然我由衷地希望這麼做完全沒效。」
!["Actually you should thank me for participating in this extremely transparent attempt to be more likable in the public eye. And, I hope it doesn't work."](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-7693-1426443225-2.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
6. NBA球星俠客歐尼爾 (Shaquille O’Neal):「小賈,身為6個小孩父親的我必須說、你應該振作一點。」
![Shaq also turned up to add his voice to the chorus of non-Beliebers.](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-31172-1426440086-2.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
「去年你在年度最討人厭排行榜排到第5名,就連金正恩都沒你那麼慘,而且他還會用你的音樂來折磨人民。」
!["Justin, as a father of six you have to straighten up, son," Shaq said. "Last year, you were ranked the fifth most hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn’t rank that low. And he uses your music to torture people."](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-31197-1426440183-8.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
7. 知名音樂製作人史奴比狗狗 (Snoop Dogg):「你養了一隻猴子!我覺得就算是得愛滋病的猴子都不會比你養的那隻還要丟臉自卑。」(下圖小賈斯汀肩上真的有一隻猴子。)
!["You bought a monkey!" Snoop Dogg said. "I mean, that monkey was more embarrassed than the one that started the AIDS epidemic."](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-31501-1426437987-3.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
過程中喜劇演員Natasha Leggero也提到,在場的嘻哈歌手甚至是作家瑪莎史都華 (Martha Stewart) 都曾經待過牢裡一段時間。
!["All these rappers on stage and Martha Stewart has done the most jail time," comedian Natasha Leggero joked.](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-31456-1426442994-6.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
於是瑪莎史都華打算給小賈斯汀一些建議,讓他能夠避免不被抓進去關。
![Stewart wanted to offer Bieber some tips on how to avoid the slammer.](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-18050-1426440331-9.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|AP
「你應該要定下來,找尋生活中的平衡點和重心。找到一位適合你的女孩,但這位女孩必須相當特別、需要和你在同一個水平,要有名、有權還要有錢。找個會和你一起抽煙和做任何事情的女孩,最好是出門在外能夠主導很多事物、但關起房門又像個瘋子的那種。」
「所以小賈,我所給你的最終建議就是,打給我。」
!["So, Justin, my final piece of advice is, call me."](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-28500-1426443064-19.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
搞半天原來是要說這個!
節目終於到了尾聲,小賈斯汀顯然已經被猛烈的砲火弄得有點無法招架了。
![By the end of the night, Bieber was looking a little shaken up.](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-30083-1426443362-22.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
顯然持續尷尬2個小時讓他精疲力盡。
![Like, seriously. It was a rough night.](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-32685-1426443379-3.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
最後他上台開玩笑地問說:「當你年紀輕輕就賺到2億美元時會獲得什麼呢?就是一大群過氣藝人花兩個小時笑你是個娘娘腔。」
![Appearing on stage with his long lost pet monkey, Bieber finally had a chance to hurl some zingers of his own.](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-25665-1426437970-5.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
但他在節目的最後還是收起玩笑的心態,誠懇地向社會大眾道歉。
!["What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million?" he asked. "A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours."](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-29470-1426443618-7.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
他說:「過去幾年我讓很多人失望了,但我知道我仍然可以做出很棒的音樂、並且讓一切事情都回到正軌。對於這樣的人生,我根本毫無心理準備,我12歲就被丟進這種生活了。」
![But he also turned serious at the end of the night, apologizing for his past behavior.](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-8363-1426443511-10.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
「我其實不知道自己所面對的是什麼樣的生活,只知道有時候我會為自己感到驕傲、而有時候則會失望,但我之前做過的事情並不代表我就是怎樣的人,其實我是個喜歡人群的好人,只是因為種種的事情、我好像失去了這個最大的特質,對此我真的很抱歉。」
![Here's to being such a good sport, Biebs.](https://teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/enhanced-864-1426443850-5.jpg)
Chris Pizzello|Invision|AP
「我希望能成為你們大家都能驕傲的人。某次身邊的熟人跟我說”從哪裡跌倒就從哪裡爬回來,這才是證明你是男人的最好辦法”,而我也很興奮於接受這樣的挑戰,並且由衷感激在這段期間能夠陪在我身邊的你們。」
來源:Buzzfeed
真的有太多明星因為從小爆紅、長大後就走歪了的案例,希望小賈斯汀這次是玩真的呀… 不過願意去參加這樣的批鬥大會、還誠懇的道歉,我想他應該先值得一些掌聲了!
(往下還有更多精彩文章!)