当你撞见男友跟来路不明的女人在车里共乘,你会怎么做?推特网友@vickto_willy为大家展示了一个超哈扣的做法,那就是躲进男友车子的后车厢,并将现场最新情况用推特即时发文告诉大家!
WHEN U CATCH UR NIGGA CHEATING WITH A BITCH! HE PACKED HIS SHIT TO LEAVE ME FOR THIS HOE BUT IM IN THE TRUNK pic.twitter.com/HBtwUWmLsm
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 16, 2016
「这是上周五晚上发生的,但礼拜四晚上我男人开始神游就悄悄开始了。这个月是我生日所以礼拜四晚上我跟姊妹们出门就像这样」
1.) This happened last Friday night. But the drama lowkey started on Thursday night when my nigga 1st started tripping ??
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「一切都很好直到我礼拜四出门那天。我出门前一小时就传简讯给他,所我很确定只有我跟姊妹们出门,他没有要出去。他甚至连讯息都没打开来看*因为没有已读*他知道我不会乱来」
7. Everything was cool til I went out Thursday. So I texted him like a hour before we went out, right when I was sure we was going & he aint
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「但我们根本不鸟因为我们看起来已经准备玩嗨了。我们就像泰勒丝的〈Juvenile〉MV一样摇屁股。现在我玩嗨了,直到他打给我我才想起他还没读讯息。」
12. but we dont give a fuck cause we lookin good & feeling ourselves. We shaking our asses to Taylor Swift like we in a Juvenile music video
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我很清楚这家伙根本听不到我讲话因为这里音乐太大声,所以我挂了电话传讯息告诉他『等我离开再打给你』然后他回讯息说『给我接电话不然我们就玩完了。我被搞糊涂了,我觉得这家伙…」
14. damn well he can’t hear me over the music & vice versa. So I hang up & text him like “Ima call u when we get out” he text me back like
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「…根本就是『噢妳一定是跟哪个男人在一起所以不理我。』但没关系我一定会用FaceTime打到妳死。我光看讯息就已经可以想像他在扭曲哀号了所以我回『别闹了等我要回家再打给你』
19. “Oh u must be ignoring me for whatever nigga u with. But it’s cool, keep ignoring me and Ima FaceTime u till yo phone die”‘now I’m
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「他一整晚闹到我朋友都开始讨厌他了。她们都说:『去他的啦,妳看起来糟透了,别让他给你压力』她们说我应该放手让他走。她们从我们在一起第一天就这么说了。」
21. off for the whole night and my homegirls already don’t like him. These hoes in my ear like “gurl fuck him, u look bad af! don’t let him
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「这些都是谈感情都会有的插曲啦但我都快忘了他浪漫的那一面了,但我还是会像这样被他的笨笨的样子吸引。后来我回到家他不在,打给他他也不接。我累了只好先睡。星期五一早…」
26. So I get home and call him but he don’t pick up. I’m tired and sleepy so I say fuck it and take my drunk ass to sleep; Friday morning, I
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我一起床就拿手机看。他X的一通讯息都没给我。我已经准备好醒来发现收到一堆道歉讯息了,所以我现在超不爽。但我得去上课所以请前晚的其中一个女性朋友来载我。」
28. u kno I’m pissed this nigga ain’t even send not a thing. But I get ready for class anyway and ride wit one of my homegirls from the
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我们就叫她”Jay”吧,总之Jay开始说昨晚我男人多夸张,跟我讲一些我已经知道的事。当我渐渐开始左耳进右耳出,一听到她说『他会变这样一定是因为在外面偷玩女人』我就瞬间清醒。」
30. me stuff I already kno. I’m lowkey zoning her out until I heard her say “chile he prolly trippin cause he doing sum shit on the side”
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我开始认真听,她说『当男人做坏事时都喜欢改写剧本让女方变成坏人」我听到这马上打断她,说他没那么下流啦,开往学校的一路上我们都不发一语。」
32. something.” So I cut her off mid conspiracy like nah he know better and we rode in silence all the way to campus. But she ain’t have to
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「她想知道他要再过多久才会打给我,所以我下课跟Jay一起回家喝茶,然后Jay接到一通我不认识的女生朋友Katie的电话,她开扩音」
36. then Jay get a call from HER homegirl, not a mutual. So she put it on speaker & her homegirl, lets call her “Katie” is on the line askin
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「结果她是要跟Jay问作业和笔记,Jay把电话关静音跟我说这家伙根本不去上课,她要回家传给她笔记了。从这一刻开始一切都变疯狂了,我也开始觉得很混乱…」
38. give her my notes.” So I’m like girl u good and Jay take Katie off of mute. Here’s where it gets crazy and I start to feel crazy ?
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「因为我记得Katie在电话那头对另一个人说『你真幸运』,那个人回『谢啦』…为何我花了0.89秒才发现那是我男友的声音。但在我反应过来前Jay就跟Katie说她到家会再回拨电话。」
40. it took me .89 seconds to realize that niggas voice was MY niggas voice. But before I could react Jay had told Katie she was gona call
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「虽然他才讲两个字但我已经知道我男人在搞什么鬼了。Jay挂了电话看着我问我怎么了,因为我已经开始换气过度 (我有气喘)」
42. Jay hung up & lookd at me like “what’s wrong” cause Im damn near hyperventilating(I got asthma) over my epiphany pic.twitter.com/EC21iTjY3x
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我的手掌开始冒汗,胃里有种我正在做云霄飞车的感觉。你知道当你身体发现有事情不对劲但你的脑子还不敢相信的那种感觉。Jay现在对着我的脸大喊『Victoria你他X的到底怎么了』」
44. when yo body kno something aint right even if yo mind don’t believe it. I felt that. Now Jay n my face screaming “Victoria wtf going on”
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我只是摇头说『你都没听到Z (我男人) 说话吗』然后告诉他我听到了什么。Jay说『你真的为他想太多了!他一定会回家的!」但我现在没空跟这个单身婊子争执所以我假装他是对的」
46. going crazy over him! He all the way back home?!” But I don’t got time to argue with a single hoe so I pretend she right & let her ass
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「然后让她回家,所以我可以叫我的姊妹帮帮忙。我打给Bri (我的左右手),她10分钟后就到了。」
47. go home so I can call my right hand bitch to help me figure it out. So I call up Bri(my right hand) & she pull up 10min later
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我们一起做身家调查,发现那女的是佛罗里达州立大学高年级生,7年才读完4年的学业,酷。总之我打给Z想看他会不会接结果才响一通就接起了。」
50.Anyway lemme stop throwing shade?..so I call Z to see if he pick up now that I know he been lying & this nigga picks up on the 1st ring
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「但我尽量维持冷静,这家伙也用一派轻松口气说什么『今天还好吗?』我必须花很大力气才没当场揭穿他,我装作没事语气问『你在干嘛?为何没打给我?』」
52. taking everything in me to not go off on him so I act normal then say “what u doing? why u ain’t call me?”. This nigga talking bout “I
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「他说我以为我已经有传讯息给你了,等等,喔对不起我忘了寄出。我整天都在帮我妈的忙…布拉布拉之类的,他简直是从魔术师的帽子里拉出了一长串谎言嘛。我边听着电话边看着Bri比手画脚要我冷静,但我已经不爽到了极点。」
54. pullin lies out like a magician hat?. The whole time Im on the phone Bri signaling for me to relax, I was pissed pic.twitter.com/eZC9WoRoNZ
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我挂电话后跟Bri坐在那一会儿,想着我要像这样处理这件事。然后我说『去他的,你车里还有油吗?既然他这么自以为,我想突袭他!』Bri说『好耶我等你说这句话很久了,我已经准备好了!』」
56. Then I say “fuck this. U got gas in ur car? I wanna pop up on him since he think he slick!” Bri said “hell yeah I been waiting for u to
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我们就上了她的车然后开往Katie的住处。我们已经查到了她的地址所以就直接飙过去了。」
57. say that! Cause u know Im ready!” So we get n her car & head to Katie apmt. Remember we done already found her address so we speed there
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「到达后Bri告诉我『你一定要逮个正著,别让那混蛋看到你在外面』我说『该怎么做呢?教我』我们靠近他停在屋外的车,这时我已经开始预想各种邪恶的犯罪手法了,像是:」
62. so we walk up to his little car and y’all I swear I was thinking of some evil crimes to commit like pic.twitter.com/3dp0i1Hb1k
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「然后事情发生了。我的屁股永远都记得,他总是不会锁上副驾驶座的车门,因为那是那台车唯一不会自动锁上的门,而且他兜懒得伸手过去锁。我就叫Bri先去告诉他我已经知道所有事情了。」
64. automatically & he be too lazy to reach over & lock it hisself. So I tell Bri to call him & tell him I know everything. While she doin
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我就打开副驾驶座车门,然后从里面打开后车厢,接着我就这样进入后车厢了!Bri在外面看傻了,但我没时间鸟她了因为这是唯一让那男人出奇不意的方式!」
66. but idgaf how she feel cause I already told myself this the only way to get his ass off guard! I tell her “Im finna pop up on his ass”
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「她帮我把后车箱稍微打开露一点缝隙,这样我就能抓着车厢门让它不要完全关上。我把手机开震动,叫她一看到他出门就传讯息给我。我在里面整整待了20分钟她才传来『婊子啊他出来了但他不是一个人!」
68. her to text me when he come out. I was in there chillin for almost 20min when she text me “BITCH HE COMIN BUT HE NOT ALONE”! Now I’m in
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我在后车厢里想着对啊他已经让我够难看了。但如果这婊子想要一起来,她就要有心理准备!」
69. the trunk like oh yeah he really got me fucked up. But if this hoe wanna ride along, she betta be prepared to ride along FOREVA
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 19, 2016
「我在后车厢开始随着前座的音乐摆动然后一边战战兢兢想像如果接下来被发现了会发生甚么事。我不是说被Z抓到,我是说被警察抓。」
72. get caught in the trunk. Im not talking bout getting caught by Z either, Im talking by the police ? so if u wondering if it’s illegal to
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「你一定在想难道自愿把自己绑架进后车厢难道也违法吗?没错,也违法。我在后车厢里估狗得知的,然后我的屁股吓得开始颤抖,希望这家伙不要被拦检。我紧紧抓住车门,紧到因此弄断了一截指甲。」
74. like I hope this nigga don’t get stopped. Man I was holding that trunk so tight, I even broke a nail trying to keep it from flying open
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「车突然一停,我就像你看到的那段影片里跳了出来撞到窗户,我基本上对那女的说『你别想走开,现在剩我、你还有他」他们俩看到这幕开始笑了起来。」
80. & I basically said “nigga ain’t no leaving me, now it’s ME, U, & HIM” now the both of them started laughing so I’m standing like Z u
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「我说Z你最好告诉新女友这不是场儿戏喔,他们俩还是持续在笑,笑到我不爽到骨子里了他还没像我想像的那样开车逃逸。我站在那一副『你们到底在笑三洨啦』他们笑得很夸张」
82. my ass like I expected him to.Now Im standing there like “why y’all still laughing” cause they cracking up like pic.twitter.com/Bx7dul61we
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「等我终于看清楚这女的脸才发现…她不素偶在Instagram上看到的女生啊。这婊子根本不是Katie!算了我现在头好痛,嘴巴干燥到像是吃了很多棉花。我还差0.5秒就要抽打他们屁股了。」
84. Now I’m done my head hurt, my mouth dry like I been chewing cotton & Im .5 seconds away from whooping everybody ass. y’all remember
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「你还记得我的左右手Bri吧?那婊子从头到尾跟着我们,换作是我我也会为她这么做…当你玩完时你会说你玩完了,这时他们会说一切一你而定对吧,所以这时我就走向Bri停在路边的车」
86. completely done w/ somebody & just when u say u done forreal, that’s when they try to make it up to u? Yeah so I start walking to Bri
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「Z竟然还有胆走出车来抓住我的手臂说『你这小坏坏听我解释』我说『你本来有机会跟我解释的但你只忙着跟那婊子一起笑,我受够你了Z』
88. Vick.” Im like “nigga no, u had hella time to explain back there but u was 2 busy laughing it up wit that hoe, Im done with the shit Z”
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「我接着进了Bri的车一起开走了,结果你知道吗那家伙一通电话都没打给我!我们离开的路上我告诉Bri『他就要打给我了』结果一通也没,到周末结束前那家伙一通电话都没打。」
90. “yeah bitch, he boutta call me right now.” nope not at all, nigga ain’t even hit me until until the weekend was over. Y’all see that
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「后来Z才传来讯息说『我可以去找你吗?』我故作镇定说可以,当他终于出现时我有一整个PPT档案的问题要问他,我劈头就问『他X的为何过了2天才联络我还有别骗我喔你知道我会杀人喔』
project &PowerPoint of questions &my presentation began w/ “WHY TF IT TOOK U 2 WHOLE DAYS TO CONTACT ME & DONT LIE CAUSE U KNO IM CRAZY”
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
「这就是故事的尾声,因为我不想坐在这告诉你们我跟那贱男人分手了或我们又快乐地复合了或他受够了我的胡闹行为了因为我们都知道跟你所爱的人在一起任何事都有可能发生。」
or that he done wit my shenanigans cause we all kno when it come down to that person u love*attached to* anything bound to happen.
— la loba (@vickto_willy) April 20, 2016
来源:The Lad Bible
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